Readers, I have a confession to make. Despite my love of vintage looks, what I know about doing hair could fit on the tip of a bobby pin.
Not that I know how to use one. I can roll a hem, but I can't roll my hair.
Yes, somehow I have managed to make it through almost 30 years without the first clue about blowdrying, braiding, piecing, parting, gels, sprays, rollers, pins, clips or combs. I don't own a curling iron or a single can of hairspray. I used to "cut" (hack at randomly with scissors without benefit of three-way mirror) and dye my own hair during my high school punk rock days, but considering the poor results, I hardly think that counts as "styling."
My current hair "routine" consists of putting water and gentle baby shampoo (I'm pregnant and concerned about chemicals!) on my head every few days, rinsing, toweling dry, frowning at the triangular poofiness that results, and brushing my hair up into an elastic. Every three or four months when split ends begin to manifest, I get a trim and blow-dry at a nice salon and feel really fabulous for a little while.
So my hair has exactly two styles and a half styles:
- "Down" (when it feels like not fanning out into a reverse triangle)
- "Up" aka "Ponytail" (most other times)
- "Half Up, Half Down" (when I'm feeling WILD)
I assure you this is not for total lack of trying. A few years ago in a fit of hope I bought a set of hot rollers, but discovered they have almost no effect on my thick, stubbornly straight hair--no matter how long I left them in, the curls lasted 15 minutes, tops. So away they went under the sink, never to be plugged in again. The last time I got curls in my hair was for my wedding in September 2007 (thanks Mom!):
But I am nothing if not ambitious and determined. I bought a copy of Vintage Hairstyling and a set of mesh rollers (I didn't trust velcro ones to stay in) and today I attempted my first ever self-inflicted wet set.
I washed my hair, put styling gel on it, sectioned my hair with a rat-tail comb (or tried to), followed the book directions for an "off-base" curl (rolling hair under at a 45 degree angle) and stuck pins to hold the curls in place. But they just didn't seem to stay put. Masheka thinks the problem is probably with my pin technique, and I concur--I wish I had asked either my mother or mother-in-law to show me how to do it properly when I was visiting them a few weeks ago. I did leave them in until my hair was almost dry...
Nary a curl in sight. And the styling gel made my hair feel all weird and sticky. Back to the drawing board.