Seamsters, is your fabric and yarn getting you down?
Are you sick and tired of those perky polka dot prints, wool doubleknits, hand-dyed merino hanks and sassy silk crepes hiding in the backs of your stash drawers, muttering and mocking you, whispering evilly "Why haven't you just sewn or knit me into something fantastically amazing and perfectly fitting already?"
Are you worried that Me Made May '13 is going to be JUST TOO EASY?
What would you say if you knew there was a fast, efficient—and, best of all, 100% FREE—solution?
Try our new and improved....
Vicious Little Moth Larvae™!
They creep, they crawl, they chomp, they squiggle, they squirm! You'll have empty drawers in no time—your wools reduced to cheesecloth, your yarn reduced to bits, your handmades more ventilated than EVER before!
"But Mikhaela, how do I get some Vicious Little Moth Larvae™, you ask?"
That's easy! Just take home a mysteriously holey thrift store cashmere sweater and assume that a gentle hand washing and a good darn will have it right as rain ... Let some woolen items fall to the ground in the deep dark recesses of your closet... ignore your stash for months ... and VOILA!
But seriously, folks. It's true. My husband and I have spent the past week battling the Moth Infestation of Doom, and I just cannot believe how far the little monsters have managed to spread. Our bedroom closet was the worst—all our suits and my wool skirts eaten, including my Sew Grateful Challenge Colorblock skirt.
But after we cleaned out the closet—washing, cleaning, throwing out or eco-friendly-dry-cleaning EVERYTHING that had survived... I began to inspect all the other drawers in the house. I'm still not done, as I'm going through them all very carefully, opening and shaking out each piece of fabric or item of clothing onto a sheet ...
I got all the way down to the bottom of my first fabric drawer and was loudly proclaiming in excitement to my husband "They didn't eat my fabric!!!!" ... when I unfolded a beautiful piece of cotton shirting and there they were, squirming away (though not eating—they don't eat cotton, they just live on it).
Yeah. So I've had to be incredibly ruthless. Handwashing doesn't kill the pests and I don't have the budget to eco-dryclean every piece of dry-clean-only fabric I had. ALL scraps are gone now—those leftover wool or silk fabric scraps that I'd been keeping for I don't know what—quilts? Stuffed animals?
And I've really made some hard decisions about my clothes as well. On the plus side, this leaves plenty of room for new me-mades. On the minus side, well... THEY ATE MY STUFF AND THEY ARE SO GROSS. (Though mysteriously, they were in my sock drawer but did not TOUCH any of my large collection of wool socks... phew! Probably because I am always opening that drawer and shuffling the socks around, the monsters hate light and disturbance.)
I still am not sure how the nasties got in, but I do suspect it was a beautiful thrifted wool sweater with a few little holes that I'd been meaning to darn... I put it in a hot dry dryer for 60 minutes the minute I got home (to kill potential bedbugs) but maybe that wasn't enough to knock out the moths. Or maybe it was a vintage handbag I bought on Etsy, or a piece of wool fabric from a bargain bin in a dusty old fabric store... Who knows!
Act now... GET YOURS TODAY!
P.S. Knitters, take heart. I'd always been in the habit of keeping all my wool yarn in plastic sweater bags for protection... and I didn't find a single little wool-chomper in those drawers. Too bad I hadn't treated my wool fabrics the same!